Spill The Beans, Not The Coffee

Not my photo, credit goes to this article. In the midst of cleaning my personal coffee spill, taking a photo of it was long forgotten.

Spill The Beans, Not the Coffee

Mental health can deteriorate in many different ways and while we have come a long way spreading awareness of it, we still have much further to go. A couple weeks ago, I had a minor incident before work that could have ruined my whole day if I had let it. I had started a new schedule that week which involved driving my boyfriend to work and it had completely changed up my daily rhythm. I had to leave my place about an hour and a half earlier than normal and decided to sit in a Starbucks to fill up the time. While I was there, I figured I’d attempt to write a blog post, even though I was out of practice and haven’t written one in several months. After a half-hour on my phone and doing nothing of importance, I realized that I was wasting time and quite frankly, failing at putting anything on paper. Then as soon as I opened up this very document I was writing on, the incident mentioned above happened; I spilled steaming hot, freshly-made coffee, or more specifically a blonde roast americano, all over my laptop, phone, backpack and all of my light-colored clothing I had to wear to work that day.

It was a complete wake-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed kind of morning. I was already ‘off’ from the adjustment in my schedule when I got to Starbucks, then when I had ordered the americano, the barista saw me coming for the drink but made an extra point to bring it to the pickup side of the counter even though we were both standing on the far opposite side of it and with no line. I understand that it was likely just the store’s policy but I still felt particularly annoyed by it. Once I returned to my small table, I took a sip of my scalding drink and burned the taste buds off of my tongue which resulted in me taking off its lid to cool off. Little did I know, a guy would then decide to sit at the table directly behind my chair, even though every other table was empty, and cause me to scoot forward to make room for him. As this happened, my foot hit the bottom of the table and I realized too late that it was wobbly and it therefor wobbled with my laptop, phone, and my full to the brim, lidless coffee cup on top of it. The rest, as they say, was history. 

Don’t get me wrong, writing this and even re-reading it after the fact sounds comical and ridiculous to be making a mountain out of such a small bump, but that is only because my mind is currently in a healthy state. What if I had experienced a death in the family or was suffering from chronic depression before this incident? What if I had a terrible night from an abusive family member the night before? To clarify, these didn’t happen to me during this time period. I can, however, distinctly remember time periods in my life when these were the case and something small like spilling coffee only added to my level of stress and anxiety. This small occurrence could have felt like a very significant one and added to the snowball effect of everything appearing to go wrong in my life.

Sound crazy? Probably. But what’s crazier is the lack of scaffolding put in place that prevents the spiraling of an unhealthy mind. To heal a physical illness we use medicine, and to heal a broken bone or organ, we have surgery. So what do we do to heal a traumatized mind? It’s a little different. Truthfully, there are a lot of answers that can work for various people as healing and recovery of the mind is no one size fits all. Medicine is still a possibility for some cases, but a more important tactic that has been proven time after time to help fix the mind is simply talking about it to an audience that is open to receiving it.

Why don’t more people talk about mental health and mental illness? We all have seen struggles of it either within ourselves or others around us, but we seem to feel pressure to pretend it isn’t there. There is an unwritten social norm for many of us that tells us to not show sadness, anger, frustration, or even confusion. This can be highlighted in the workplace or schools especially. Sometimes we are so scared to mess up or present ourselves in a negative way that it stays in our mind and ultimately becomes the very reason we mess up in the first place. However, if we can get those thoughts out of our heads by simply giving a voice to them, we can have a clear mind to complete our task in an efficient manner. Also, when we find someone else that listens who can understand our point wholeheartedly, the vindication that follows will give us confidence that we didn’t know we could have achieved previously. Talking about our issues and fears is the ultimate defender from the shame of them.

So let’s talk. No issue too big or too small. If you poured hot coffee on yourself and devices like me and it ruined your day, that’s okay! Or if you are facing a never-ending depression that you can’t seem to get ahead of, use your voice to free yourself from it. And if someone who you think will understand, doesn’t, then find another person to talk to. Let’s figure it out together.

Have a story of a traumatizing time or mental illness that you would like to share on our podcast? Feel free to reach out to either Mary or me about it. You can find out more information/fill out the form here. We’d love to connect with you!